Dating and Dollars
Dating, Dollars and Etiquette
The dinner date has gone great but now it's time to pay. Who pays for dinner?
Sue had asked David out, so she decided that it would be fair for her to pay for their dinner. She took out her purse to pay when David tossed her a small amount of cash to cover his share -- (he'd only eaten one piece of pizza because he wasn't too hungry).
Sue was embarrassed; she'd offered to pay, so why couldn't he just let her do it? Or if he wanted to split the check, why couldn't he split it evenly? Ah the joys of money!
Who Treats?
Even as early as the first date, you've got to decide who pays for dinner, coffee, the movie -- even for valet parking. It was much easier 30 years ago, the guy always paid ... but this is the New Millienium, and things have changed.
There's unspoken rule of thumb that the person who asks, is the one who should pay, but let's face it, that is necessarily always fair so doesn't always apply. Some guys have been trained since birth to pull out their wallets when the check arrives, while others feel as if they've scored when their dates offer to pay. Some girls feel if their date pays for their meal there will be some sort balancing ticket required ...
Etiquette aside, it can get quite awkward when you both reach for your wallets or, worse still, begin arguing about who should cover the cost.
Since most of us work, there's no reason to assume our dates will do the paying, especially since we're perfectly capable of doing it ourselves. Besides, there's another benefit to sharing the costs: If you go out six times and decide it's over, you won't feel bad because the guy's spent his life's savings buying you dinner.
Power Play
Jennifer, a stockbroker in Melbourne, went on a date with a new guy who boldly announced that he was wearing an Armani suit and Ferragamo shoes. He went way over the top in his attempt to impress her with his knowledge, abilities and how much money he made, that Jennifer felt repulsed: "He was probably a nice guy, but he was so concerned about showing me how much he spent on things that it was a total turn-off."
Whereas Sylvia, a Sydney actress said "That's the first thing I want to know about a guy ... I'm not really a gold digger, but I'm interested to know if he's got it all together and going places. I am not interested in a bludger!"
Money issues are often about boundaries and power, says psychologist Phyllis Goldberg. Talking about your investments or dropping hints about how much money you make or what you can afford to buy sends a signal to the person you're dating. It may convey more about you -- or him -- than you're really ready to learn at an early stage, so Goldberg suggests keeping money out of your conversations when you're just beginning to date.
The bottom line is that love and money can coexist quite nicely as long as you make the relationship take priority over who has the fatter wallet or who picks up the tab.
Cairns Romance Island is an online singles dating concept brought to you by Splash Singles Romance
