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Body LanguageUnderstanding People Through Their Body Language

Did you know that up to 93% of communication is non verbal and much of this is body language?

If Only I Could Read Your Mind!

Knowing how to read body language is almost like being able to read another's mind, and can be really helpful when trying to feel your way through a new relationship. Imagine being able to prevent picking up the wrong signals, or knowing how to work out if someone really likes you! 

Australian author Allan Pease and his wife Barbara are considered an authority on Body Language and communication between men and women, and have written several hilarious books on the subject, which are all available very cheaply through Amazon Books. 

Let’s say you are out on a date and want to take things further, but you would like to know if the other person is interested first. 

Here is a list of Body Language tell tale signs to watch out for and you will never be left guessing again!

Male body language:

If a man is interested he will often take on a "peacock stance", i.e. he will throw back his shoulders and stand taller, by puffing out up his chest and pulling in his stomach. He may check his appearance, straighten his tie (if he is wearing one) and start generally preening himself, e.g. smoothing back his hair, tucking in his shirt.

A sure sign that he is interested is when he hooks his thumbs into his belt and pushes out his groin. This subconsciously highlights his genital region and says that he is strong and virile!

Watch out for body positioning. If he turns his body towards you it shows that he is interested, particularly if either of his feet are pointing towards you.  If his hands are placed on his hips, he is probably ready to take things further.

His eyes are a big giveaway.

When someone is holding their gaze, even for a fraction of a second longer than is necessary, especially when combined with dilated pupils, it is a sure sign that tonight you are in luck!  A man’s intimate gaze is generally quite obvious. If his eye movements follow a triangle shaped pattern (that is eye to eye, down to the mouth, the rest of your body, and then back up to the eyes again), this is another giveaway that he likes you.

Female body language:

Women also display similar preening and grooming "I like you" actions to men, like brushing her hair or putting on makeup, but there are other signals to look out for which show that they are particularly interested in the person they’re talking to.

One such sign is the glamorous actress ‘head toss’, this can be done by women with both long and short hair. Exposed wrists can also be a sign of interest, and open palm gestures are considered a primeaval sign of openness and sincerity.

As with male body language, if her foot or knee is pointing towards you (especially if her legs are crossed) this gives a clear sign of interest. If she lets the shoe from her top leg slip off her foot and starts playing with it – this is often seen as a sign of interest.

Don’t forget to look out for the eyes, as women are excellent at using the intimate gaze – that is holding your gaze for a moment longer than normal, and following the triangle formation.  This movement is known as ‘eyeing someone up’.

Another good sign of attraction is if she is coiling her hair around her finger and tilting her head whilst talking to you. And don’t forget to look out for that warm natural smile!

Making the first move

 

Once you feel you are receiving the body language messages that your partner may be interested, it is time to experiment with a technique called ‘excuse touching’. This is none threatening, non sexual behaviour that basically provides you an excuse to touch your partner, to show that you interested, and give them the opportunity to respond.

Gently touch their lower arm in the "Mother Touch" when talking, or taking hold of their hand to make a point, or laugh heartily.

If your date is truly interested, they will be drawn to subconsciously reciprocate your touch. 

When you get the feeling this is one is a cold fish ... they probably are, or your advances have been just a little too much, too soon.

Here is a list of common body language expressions. How many do you recognise…?  

Body Language Gesture

Meaning

Brisk, erect walk

Confidence

Standing with hands on hips

Readiness, aggression

Sitting, legs apart

Open, relaxed

Arms crossed on chest

Defensiveness

Walking with hands in pockets, shoulders hunched

Dejection

Hand to cheek

Evaluation, thinking

Touching, slightly rubbing nose

Rejection, doubt, lying

Rubbing the eye

Doubt, disbelief

Hands clasped behind back

Anger, frustration, apprehension

Locked ankles

Apprehension

Head resting in hand, eyes downcast

Boredom

Rubbing hands

Anticipation

Sitting with hands clasped behind head, legs crossed

Confidence, superiority

Open palm

Sincerity, openness, innocence

Pinching bridge of nose, eyes closed

Negative evaluation

Tapping or drumming fingers

Impatience

Steepling fingers

Authoritative

Patting/fondling hair

Lack of self-confidence; insecurity

Tilted head

Interest

Stroking chin

Trying to make a decision

Looking down, face turned away

Disbelief

Biting nails

Insecurity, nervousness

Pulling or tugging at ear

Indecision

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